How to Choose the Right Therapist: 7 Questions to Ask in Your First Session

Finding the right therapist can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re unsure about what to expect or where to begin. Therapy is a deeply personal journey, and having the right fit can make all the difference in your healing process. Whether you’re struggling with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, or any other mental health concern, selecting a therapist who aligns with your needs is essential.

In this post, I’ll guide you through how to choose the right therapist by sharing seven important questions to ask during your first session, discussing different therapy modalities, and addressing common concerns. I’ll also provide a printable worksheet to help you navigate your initial consultation, ensuring you feel confident in making your decision.

1. How Do I Find the Right Therapist?

When you start your search for a therapist, it’s important to consider several factors:

Credentials and Specializations: Ensure the therapist is licensed and has experience with the issues you're dealing with. Something else that is important to note here is that some therapists are working towards their licensure. The only different between what they are qualified for verses someone who has their license, is they just don't have the experience however, they are being supervised by someone with these qualifications.
Therapy Modalities: Different therapists use different approaches. Some focus on talk therapy, while others may offer a more structured approach like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Psychodynamic Therapy.
Personal Comfort: A good therapeutic relationship starts with feeling comfortable with your therapist. You should feel safe, heard, and understood from the get-go.

2. Choosing a Therapist: 7 Questions to Ask in Your First Session

When you meet with a potential therapist, here are seven questions that can help you determine if they’re a good fit for you:

What is your approach to therapy?It’s important to understand the therapist’s approach to treatment. Some therapists use CBT to challenge negative thought patterns, while others may use mindfulness-based techniques or psychodynamic therapy to explore past experiences.
Do you have experience working with clients dealing with [specific issue]?If you're seeking help for something specific, like maternal mental health or trauma, it’s vital to ask if the therapist has experience working with clients facing similar challenges.
How do you measure progress in therapy?Every therapist tracks progress differently. Some may use questionnaires, others may check in periodically on goals, while others may rely on open conversations.
What can I expect from a typical session?Knowing what to expect can reduce any initial anxiety. Do they use guided exercises, focus solely on conversation, or provide homework? Clarify this upfront.
How do you ensure confidentiality?Confidentiality is a key part of the therapeutic relationship. Understand what boundaries the therapist sets to maintain privacy, especially if you're in a sensitive situation.
What is your experience with my therapy modality of interest?If you're particularly drawn to a certain approach like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), be sure to ask about the therapist’s experience with these modalities.
How do you handle situations when a client is not making progress?Therapy isn’t always linear, and it’s normal to face challenges along the way. Knowing how the therapist responds to these challenges can help you gauge their flexibility and dedication.

3. Therapy Modalities and Their Benefits

There are numerous therapy approaches, each with its own strengths. Here are a few common ones:

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT focuses on identifying and challenging negative thought patterns and behaviors. It’s a great option for individuals dealing with anxiety, depression, and stress.
Psychodynamic Therapy: This type of therapy focuses on understanding the influence of past experiences on current behavior and emotions. It’s beneficial for those looking to explore deep-rooted issues.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): Originally developed for individuals with borderline personality disorder, DBT combines cognitive-behavioral techniques with mindfulness practices. It’s helpful for individuals struggling with emotional regulation.
EMDR: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is especially effective for trauma survivors. It helps reprocess traumatic memories to reduce their emotional charge.
Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT): MBCT blends mindfulness practices with cognitive therapy techniques and is especially useful for individuals struggling with recurring depression.

4. Common Concerns About Starting Therapy

Starting therapy can feel intimidating, and it’s normal to have concerns:

“Will therapy really help?”Therapy isn’t a quick fix, but it can be incredibly effective over time. The key is finding the right therapist and being open to the process.
“I’m nervous about opening up.”It’s natural to feel vulnerable, but remember that a therapist’s job is to create a safe, non-judgmental space. You control what you share and when.
“What if I don’t feel a connection with my therapist?”If you don’t feel comfortable with the first therapist you meet, it’s okay to try someone else. A strong therapeutic relationship is crucial for success.

5. Real-World Examples of Good Therapist-Client Fits

Example 1: Sarah’s Experience with CBTSarah had been struggling with overwhelming anxiety for years. After several failed attempts with therapists, she found one who specialized in CBT. With her therapist’s guidance, she learned to reframe her anxious thoughts and develop healthier coping mechanisms. After several months, Sarah felt empowered to manage her anxiety, and her overall quality of life improved.
Example 2: Mark’s Journey with Psychodynamic TherapyMark had a difficult childhood that continued to affect his adult relationships. He felt stuck in recurring patterns of self-sabotage. After starting psychodynamic therapy, he worked with his therapist to uncover unresolved issues from his past. Over time, Mark gained insight into his emotional triggers and developed healthier ways to relate to others.

6. Printable Worksheet for Your First Consultation

To make sure you’re prepared for your first session, I’ve created a printable worksheet that you can use to jot down your thoughts, questions, and concerns before meeting with a therapist.

7. The Importance of Therapeutic Alliance

Finally, one of the most important factors in successful therapy is the therapeutic alliance—the bond you share with your therapist. A strong alliance fosters trust, open communication, and collaboration. You should feel like you and your therapist are partners in your journey, working together toward your goals.

Remember, choosing the right therapist is a process, and it’s okay to take your time finding someone who feels like the right fit for you. With the right approach and therapist, you can begin to heal, grow, and thrive.