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Carol Ann Murphy

What Our Emotions Are Telling Us




Emotions can be complex and overwhelming, but one of the most important skills we can develop is the ability to identify and understand them. For those who can do this, it becomes a powerful tool, especially when dealing with emotions that feel uncomfortable or unsettling. The key is to acknowledge your emotions without judgment and explore what they might be trying to tell you.


Here’s a guide to some commonly experienced emotions and ways to refocus them to gain deeper insight into your feelings:


Anxiety – A Threat About the Unknown

Anxiety often arises when we’re faced with uncertainty, fearing what might happen next.

Refocus: What do I have control over, and what can I let go of that I don’t have control over? 

By distinguishing between what is within your control and what isn’t, you can begin to reduce anxiety and focus on actionable steps.


Sadness – Loss of Something/Someone

Sadness is a natural response to loss, whether it’s the loss of a person, a relationship, or an opportunity.

Refocus: What have I lost, and how can I honor that loss? 

Taking time to acknowledge your grief and finding ways to memorialize what you’ve lost can help in processing sadness.


Boredom – Loss of Satisfaction

Boredom often signals that something in your life is lacking meaning or engagement.

Refocus: What activities can I engage in that are meaningful and bring me pleasure? 

Identifying and pursuing activities that spark joy and fulfillment can turn boredom into an opportunity for growth.


Stress – Demand Beyond My Energy

Stress occurs when the demands placed on you exceed your available energy and resources.

Refocus: What do I need to reprioritize? 

Evaluating your commitments and making necessary adjustments can help alleviate stress and restore balance.


Anger – Threat to Wellbeing

Anger is a response to a perceived threat, whether physical, emotional, or psychological.

Refocus: Where can I go to find a safe place, physically or emotionally? 

Seeking out safety and security can help diffuse anger and provide space for reflection.


Guilt – Wrong-Doing; In Response to Our Behavior

Guilt arises when we believe we’ve done something wrong or harmful to others.

Refocus: What can I learn from this experience, and how can I make amends? 

Acknowledging your actions and taking steps to correct them can transform guilt into personal growth.


Shame – Wrong-Being; In Response to Our Morality and/or Value

Shame is a deeper feeling that we are fundamentally flawed or unworthy.

Refocus: What are my core values, and how can I align my actions with them? 

Reconnecting with your values and seeking self-compassion can help overcome feelings of shame.


Fear – A Threat About Safety

Fear is a natural response to perceived danger, whether real or imagined.

Refocus: What steps can I take to ensure my safety? 

Identifying and addressing the source of your fear can empower you to feel more secure.


Envy – Wanting Something That Another Person Has

Envy arises when we desire something that belongs to someone else, whether it’s material possessions, success, or relationships.

Refocus: What is important to me? 

By understanding your own values and desires, you can turn envy into motivation for self-improvement.


Jealousy – Insecurity

Jealousy is rooted in insecurity and fear of losing something important to us.

Refocus: What do I have to offer? 

Focusing on your strengths and contributions can help combat feelings of jealousy and build self-confidence.


Disappointment – Unmet Expectations Not in My Control

Disappointment occurs when reality doesn’t meet our expectations, often due to factors beyond our control.

Refocus: What can I learn from this experience, and how can I adjust my expectations? 

Reflecting on your expectations and adjusting them to be more realistic can help you manage disappointment more effectively.


By identifying and refocusing your emotions, you can gain a deeper understanding of your inner experiences and navigate life’s challenges with greater clarity and resilience. Emotions are not to be feared or suppressed; they are signals that guide us toward growth and self-awareness. When you learn to listen to what your emotions are telling you, you open the door to a more balanced, fulfilling life.

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